


Unfortunate Truths

by Waters



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-03 20:16:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12154017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waters/pseuds/Waters
Summary: Tamaki convinces Kyoya to fake date him in order to prove to Haruhi he'd be a good boyfriend. Only one problem, Kyoya is a better boyfriend than he is and is making him look like a jerk in comparison! Pretty soon the lines between fake competition and real competition are out the window.Hikaru, somehow along for the ride, ends up going a double date with his senpai, and Haruhi. He's not sure what's happening, or who's telling the truth, but this is beyond anything he could have imagined.





	Unfortunate Truths

**Author's Note:**

> HEY! so this is the first chapter for the work I have where I'm filling a bunch of requests all at once because that's how I do things. There will be probably be a while between updates but it WILL update. If you have comments, questions, concerns, thoughts, outrages, come talk to me here on my [tumblr](http://www.stories-n-things.tumblr.com)

 

“I need you to date me,” Tamaki said. Kyoya folded his laptop shut, his hands stilled, hovering over the desk. Tamaki stood behind Kyoya’s chair, staring at him, and despite the emptiness of the host club, it was if a thousand eyes were pressed into Kyoya space, waiting for his decision.

“What?” Kyoya kept his voice calm. His heart was beating in his ears like a man trapped in a tiger’s den, banging to be let out. His fingers were itching to move, but Kyoya did not even turn to look at Tamaki.

“I need you to fake date me.”

Kyoya exhaled slowly. “Again, I ask, what?”

Tamaki sighed, coming around to the front of the desk.  He flopped down onto the table, facing Kyoya, back pressed into the lap top, legs dangling in the air, his heel knocking against Kyoya’s thigh every so often.

“Hikaru…well…” Tamaki scrunched his face up, and Kyoya knew this was a personal matter because Tamaki never scrunched his face or let himself look ugly in public. “Hikaru may have suggested that he would make a better boyfriend than me, and he may have suggested this to Haurhi and I may have already said I was dating someone so she could _see_ that I was good, you know. Hypothetically.”

In what universe did that make any sense? Maybe in the imaginary one where Tamaki pretended he wasn’t interested in Haruhi and that everything was made of rainbows and sunshine and commoner cotton candy.

“Tamaki—”

“Listen, it’s perfect. One, obviously, you can’t be seen dating a guy—and I didn’t tell her it was you yet, I told her I had to ask this other person to make sure I could tell her—but that just means there’s a good reason why no one outside the host club can know about us.”

Tamaki was wrong. He was right that things could be bad if Kyoya dated a guy, but it wasn’t because it would look bad, or because of his family. The Ootori’s were an “ends justified the means” family. If Kyoya could make it work, they would be fine. The issue was that Kyoya _couldn’t_ make it work. The issue was that Tamaki was the _Suoh_ heir, and he’d need another Suoh heir and _not_ a scandalous boyfriend. It was Tamaki who couldn’t afford to date a man.

Kyoya knew this intimately. He thought about it. He’d planned and replanned and tried to come up with a way around it and Kyoya had smashed his skull against a brick wall every time. To even try to date Tamaki would ruin their friendship and destroy reputations.

And it would not impress Haruhi.

 “ _And,”_ Tamaki went on. _“_ there’s a built-in reason why we have to break up that doesn’t make either of us look bad and still explains why we’re such good friends afterwards!”

“You spent a lot of time thinking about this,” Kyoya said. Tamaki had also spent no time thinking about alternative ways he could show off to Haruhi, but Tamaki’s intellectual pursuits had always been selective. Math, ancient history, Kantian morality, any of those Tamaki could wax poetic about for hours. He could give great speeches on postmodern approaches to the Stoicism and their superiority to neo-Stoicism, but for all his pedagogical discussions on matters of culture and class Tamaki did not, apparently, take two seconds to fucking _think_ before he opened his mouth.

“Look Kyoya, you can say no, I just thought it might make a good idea. But we don’t have to do anything! No PDA, they won’t expect it from you anyway. We just say that we go on dates and do stuff and _violà_. Besides you are always so creative! I’m sure we could make up a good story.”

Kyoya hmmed. Tamaki turned to him, half sitting up, hair drifting in front of his face, and because the moment allowed it, Kyoya tucked a strand behind Tamaki’s ear and pretended it was normal.

“See! You’re a natural!” Tamaki winked and Kyoya smiled, despite himself.

“I am a master liar, you mean.”

“Truly there is no one better.”

“But that’s what you want?”

“Yes, I just said there’s no one—”

“I mean you want to _lie._ To Haruhi. You’re precious surrogate daughter.”

Tamaki’s expression fell. He straightened up on the desk. No doubt Tamaki’s own words on Kantian morality were flickering through his brain and his mind was telling him both that this was a bad idea, and that it was also a hypocritical one. Possibly, if Kyoya was good at reading Tamaki and not projecting, Tamaki was also thinking that lying to Haruhi here could implicate him in lying and manipulating his grandmother. Lying could lead to approval, but it would lead to false approval, which Tamaki had always fought and dismissed over real true acceptance.

“You’re right. It’s a bad idea. I’ll tell Haruhi I was joking about seeing anyone.” Tamaki swallowed. The crease in his smile shifted, and Kyoya could see where it was fake. There was something private about his posture. It wasn’t a show, it wasn’t a farce. It was genuine disappointment. Disappointment because now Haruhi would think he was an idiot, and also a bad boyfriend.

Kyoya rolled his eyes. “I’ll help you think of another way to entice her. Don’t worry.”

Tamaki didn’t sputter. Didn’t say “What!? I’m not trying to entice her! I just want her to know I’m a good boyfriend!” instead Tamaki smiled.

“You always do.” Tamaki smiled, small, and Kyoya realized, perhaps for the first time, who the better liar was. Tamaki was good at lying, at pretending he was fine. But here was where their talents differed. Here was where Kyoya’s strength truly prevailed. Tamaki could lie to everyone else, but it seemed, that truly, he could not lie to himself.

“I always do,” Kyoya said.  And he believed it. Because unlike Tamaki, Kyoya’s talents knew no bounds.

 

#

 

Hikaru had not meant to screw things up this much. Looking back at it, he could see where he went wrong, but there was still some part of him that insisted there must have been divine intervention. Haruhi was not usually this mean. Teasing sure. Someone who put her foot in her mouth, of course. But she wasn’t mean.

It had started simply. With Tamaki’s lie.

“You know,” Hikaru started, lounging on the couch as Haruhi looked up the bus schedule on her phone. “Tamaki never did tell us who he was dating.” He said this loud enough for Tamaki to hear from where he was perched by Kyoya’s side, but ostensibly he was still talking to Haruhi.

Hikaru was not an idiot. Tamaki might be a good actor—and if Hikaru was honest, _good actor_ was an insult to the sheer _level_ of bullshit Tamaki could pull out of his ass—but there was no way Tamaki was really seeing someone.

Tamaki had clear issues. Issues about intimacy. Issues about abandonment. Even though Tamaki seemed fine, going through what he did would mess up anyone. Including Tamaki. But God, did Tamaki hide it well.

But there was logic to consider, and Hiakru _did_ consider it. Fifth in his class wasn’t _last._ So, Tamaki had lied to Haruhi. He’d made up a romantic paramour in order to impress her somehow and if this were anyone else Hikaru would have called the lie out there. If it were anyone else Hikaru would have been merciless.

But it was Tamaki. Tamaki who must have been by his mother’s side as often as Karou was by Hikaru’s. Tamaki who was ripped away from his family and probably didn’t even know if his mother was _alive._

It was a wonder Tamaki wasn’t more fucked up. So Hikaru was aiming for gentle here. After all, Tamaki had lied to Haruhi, and Hikaru shouldn’t let someone lie to his friend, right?

Kyoya, who was doing the final tallies of the day, looked up from his work to stare at Hikaru. But he didn’t say anything. Thankfully. Mori and Honey finished putting on their jackets and Hikaru let his plan fall into action.

“I wonder who this mystery date is,” Hikaru said.

“Tamaki’s dating someone?” Kaoru snorted. Perfect. They hadn’t even rehearsed it.

“I was surprised too.” Hikaru looked down at his nails, watching Tamaki out of the corner of his eye. “But I think we should be supportive. That’s probably why you didn’t tell us, right? You were afraid we’d laugh?” Tamaki ambled over, predictably, and Kaoru rolled his eyes, just as predictably. Haruhi was still barely paying attention.

“Actually, I’m not dating anyone…. I was caught up in the moment,” Tamaki mumbled and Hikaru realized with a dissociated clarity that Tamaki could be lying right now and Hikaru couldn’t be sure. Instead, he shook himself. There was the plan to follow.

“Too bad.” Hikaru grinned. “If you were, I was would have suggested a double date.”

“With who?” Kaoru raised an eyebrow salaciously. Hikaru beamed.

“Me and Haruhi and Tamaki and whoever, that would be good right? You could introduce us to your mystery girl and she wouldn’t have to feel so isolated. A win all around.” Hikaru’s heart was thudding in his chest, the prospect of a date with Haruhi looming, even if it was only temporary. Tamaki didn’t take the bait. He sat down across from Hikaru and smiled, at ease, relaxed.

“Too bad. But alas, how could I deprive anyone of this beauty, it would be a shame to keep it locked away. Unless I was serious of course.” Tamaki waggled his finger. “If I was serious, giving my looks to someone else wouldn’t be a problem. That’s what love if for.”

Here Haruhi snorted. “You wouldn’t be sacrificing anything, people could still see you senpai.”

“Well, only if I wanted them to—”

“I’m just saying that’s not how beauty or relationships work,” Haruhi continued. Tamaki bristled, obviously because Haurhi was talking down to him, doubting his ability to date. Hikaru would have to intervene before his got too out of hand. Haruhi could be a wild card. And that’s what Hikaru had always liked about her. But now that he was thinking about it she had said that she’d slept poorly and she _was_ hungry.

“I know how relationships work—” Tamaki continued.

“Obviously not. You’re not sacrificing your looks. It’s not like you’d have to shave your head out of love or something, only a dumbass would do that.” Haurhi snort-laughed, but Tamaki was dead silent, the mirth gone from his eyes. The clicking of Kyoya’s fingers were the only sound in the room. Hikaru tried to breathe, tried to think of something that would defuse the tension. Hikaru and Kaoru may have been nosy, and they may have eavesdropped at the wrong moment and maybe they knew that Tamaki had once shaved his entire head and rocked a buzz cut as a preteen when his mother had started to lose her hair from illness. Solidarity he said, as he was talking to Kyoya. Love.

Except Hikaru wasn’t supposed to know this. Or be eavesdropping on Tamaki’s private moments.

“Too bad,” Hikaru cleared his throat. “I could have used a date.” Tamaki smiled at him, and it looked so real, that Hikaru almost believed it was. Kaoru laughed behind the couch, saying something that Hikaru was only half paying attention to. It was something about Tamaki being too grand, in the wrong time period.

Haruhi said something else.

Then Kaoru spoke again, but it was all starting to buzz in Hikaru’s ears because it had sounded like Haruhi had said “we could still go on a date.” And it had sounded like she’d said, “there’s nothing stopping you from asking, Hikaru.”

Hikaru’s gaze was fixed on Tamaki who was smiling encouragingly, his eyes open. He wasn’t shouting for no one to date Haruhi. He wasn’t ambling around demanding that Haruhi be pure.

Tamaki knew.

Hikaru wasn’t sure what Tamaki knew. But he knew it. Hikaru’s crush. Probably that he’d been eavesdropping. And Tamaki was trying to help. He was trying to help because he knew that Hikaru hadn’t laughed at Haruhi’s dumbass comment. Because he knew that Hikaru knew about Tamaki’s mother. Tamaki knew this was serious.

“I…” Hikaru cleared his throat. Haruhi looked up. “Sorry, I wasn’t listening.”

“It’s all right, at least you’re not as bad as Tamaki.” Haruhi chuckled and Tamaki gasped, hand to his heart.

“Hey! I listen! I listen to all our guests problems!”

“Sure senpai, when you’re not in your own little world,” she was teasing, and Tamaki pouted, playing along, but there was something about the steady click of Kyoya typing that was off. Kyoya’s fingers tapped out a strong, hard staccato like crows pecking at grave stones. It made Hikaru irrationally tense.

“I’m surprised you even get school work done with all your day dreaming,” Haurhi said. The corner of her mouth turning up.

“I’m smart!” Tamaki protested and Haruhi laughed and Kyoya immediately stopped typing. It was like a calm before the storm. Haruhi couldn’t read the atmosphere. She could never read it on a good day, but his was like the time the Lobelia girls had been assholes to Tamaki and told him they were better than him because they were “pure” and he was “mixed” and Haruhi had defended him by saying he couldn’t possibly be mixed, he couldn’t possibly be "that bad."

“I am smart,” Tamaki said again, softer, more serious, but not offended.

“You once accidentally asked for _unko_ instead of _anko_ at the restaurant. Tamaki, you’re a bit of a space cadet.”

“I speak _four_ languages and those words sound similar, you know.” Tamaki crossed his arms, and shook his head, throwing himself back on the couch, but Kaoru and Hikaru were frozen. Because Kyoya had not started typing again. His hands were poised over the keyboard and he was listening. But Haruhi was only paying attention to Tamaki’s antics.

Hikaru swallowed. He didn’t understand what was happening. He was missing something. But it was something bad.

“Tamaki’s the second best in his class,” Hikaru said. “He’s not dumb, he’s just a little, too eager, you know. We all say dumb things.”

“True,” Haruhi was still smiling, still thinking that Tamaki was acting like normal. “But no one else ever pretended to be dating someone, just to pretend they know something about relationships.”

“I do know something about relationships, Haruhi, you wound me. You have no faith!” Tamaki brushed tears from his eyes, fake tears. Hikaru laughed uncomfortably.

“Don’t worry, Tamaki, I’m sure you’ll know what to do when you’re in a relationship,” Kaoru winked. “After all you’ll be _at least_ fifty by the time that happens, you’ll have lots of time to learn.” Tamaki gasped and threw a pillow at him and Haurhi joined in to, but Kyoya was not laughing.

“You guys are so mean to me,” Tamaki whined. Kyoya stood up from his desk, backing away his computer. Hikaru had not seen him turn it off.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m sure we’d both be excellent boyfriends, individually,” Hiakru said. Tamaki’s perked up and beamed. He sprang to his feet and flounced around, and prattling on, mostly to himself, maybe to Kaoru.  Kyoya sat on the couch with them.

“What’s this about?’ he said, as if he didn’t know, as if he hadn’t been watching and calculating. Had Hikaru said something wrong? Was the Shadow King here to take revenge?

“Nothing.” Haruhi shook her head. “Tamaki’s just an idiot.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Kyoya said, “considering he routinely outperforms everyone in our class except me. Last year, he even did better than you’re doing now. I believe he managed to get 100 in two of his classes last year, while I believe you were at risk for not being first in your class?” Kyoya was toeing the line of insult in thick, commoner work boots, and Hikaru didn’t like it. Haruhi could put her foot in her mouth, but Kyoya could be cruel and cutting, and worst of all, he could enjoy it.

“That was only because I missed a section on a test,” Haruhi said.

“Yes, but one bad test was enough to put your grades in jeopardy? Hmmm. Besides, Tamaki had outperformed you in every academic category that you two share.”

“I don’t believe that,” Haruhi said. Then she paused, as if she realized how she sounded. “I know he’s not bad academically, but I do well—”

“Tamaki has done better.”

“That’s because I have more free time,” Tamaki said, rejoining the conversation. “I don’t have to do any chores around the house or do anything to help my family. We don’t have to compare, it’s not a competition.”

Haruhi bristled. “Exactly. And I’m not saying that Tamaki—look, I’m just saying he can be dim sometimes, after all, who lies about dating someone just because they can’t admit someone else knows more about them in something?”

“He wasn’t lying,” Kyoya said. Haruhi paused, brows furrowed. Tamaki didn’t look confused. He looked at Kyoya like he knew exactly what was going on and the gears were turning in Hikaru’s head as he put the pieces together. “I hope you enjoy double dates Haruhi, Hikau, because we may well take you up on your offer.”

“I don’t understand, who’s he dating that he didn’t tell us about?” Haruhi asked. But with a sinking feeling in his gut, Hikaru knew.

 Kyoya looked Haruhi dead in the eye and smiled in a way that was sent shivers down Hikaru’s spine. “Me. Tamaki’s dating me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Also Haurhi's just hangry here. She is not mean. I don't think she's mean. I think she's irritable when hungry. Also, is Kyoya an asshole? yes.
> 
> The hardest part of this was writing from Hikaru's POV. If you have tips to make it better, let me know.


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